genius, communist, muppets.

Upon second viewing, Jim Henson was a a subversive mastermind years ahead of his time. I still never hear “For What It’s Worth” without thinking of this clip that I first saw over 20 years ago. The singing possum was so subliminally affecting that I’m pretty sure it’s why I majored in Environmental Studies and will be underemployed for the rest of my waking life, and why I don’t mind that much.

In Which Ric Ocasek Actually Is Jesus

Welcome back to your number one source of breaking Cars news on the internet. Since it’s October now we have to listen to a song that starts out “Summer/ its turns me upside down.” Doesn’t it though.

Wonder what it would have been like to live in world that didn’t have irony or convincing CGI yet, and where pop stars actually had musical sensibilities, rather than hair extensions and mandated rice-cracker diets. Like a 45-year-old white guy with a quote-of-the-day calendar and an infinite supply of Xanax didn’t write “Party In The USA” (which I once heard at a wild-west-themed bar in the south of Thailand, and felt really weird about it, but that’s a whole nother story entirely).

miss u Sam Malone

As you all know, I am moving to Boston to become my generation’s Diane Chambers. So needless to say, I choked on my Cheerios when I encountered THIS little gem from the fine bros over at GQ. You may not find that as squealable as I if you’ve not spent your summer embroidering & wine-spritzing to the finer points of Ted Danson’s sweater collection & infinite inseam, in which case you should commence straightaway.

Who’s going to tell you when

Please Kill Me (seminal punk text, kind of makes heroin seem normal) paints the Cars as a corporate-backed iteration of  Television, who were basically nineteenth century French poets reincarnated on the Bowery and 100% the realest, downtownest, CBGBest thing you’ve ever heard (spend the rest of the day hearing them and get reborn into another realm of nihilistic ennui– but the sexy, dirty-haired-pouty-lipped kind). And who needs to hear “Just What I Needed” ever again? But. A friend picked up Heartbeat City (1984) for me this summer and it’s 82% dark cocoa for your ears: just sweet enough with that bitter sting that HURTS SO GOOD. This album should come back to life as a human male so it can suck the sno-cone of my heart completely dry. Seriously, who’s going to drive you home? (video is kind of a miss: pre-girl-interrupted-core?) Just let the synths and suits leak into the empty pockets of yr soul.

c’mon lover

Some guy called my radio show yesterday and requested Fugazi but I played my favorite jam of the summer instead. Keep the faith// kill the light. UHHHH YEAH I WILL.

I wish there was a video that’s super sunset-tinged with long eyelashes and sunglasses and almost make-outs but you can imagine that while you listen to this:

alt-love traxxx

Gettin Breaked: LAW, c. 1977

Now that its Fall, summer’s electro-pop’d neck snapping gives way to Autumnal basement dwelling and I give up on leaving the house for six months and settle in with The Band, The Freewheeling Bob Dylan and Niño Rojo. Over at the station, I was rifling thru the stacks prepping for this week’s show and happened upon some GEMS.  Deep in the crevasses of music history and the station’s sixty year old collection of wax lies LAW (above) sometimes known as The Lawson 5. From Youngstown, Ohio, a veritable hotbed of erstwhile rust-belt genius RAWK (rust-belt-core?),  the band’s website proclaims:

From the 1950s through the late 1970s few areas of the country boasted a more dynamic or more exciting popular music scene than Northeast Ohio and Southwest Pennsylvania. The entire Steel Valley between Cleveland and Pittsburgh teemed with brilliant talent, great bands, and hundreds of clubs and concert venues for music fans of all ages. Many of the rock era’s most celebrated musicians spent their formative years in this area. 

(Next week’s topic: is a nation-wide exodus of this country’s young creatives to five or so coastal cities a new indicator of American cultural poverty or are such cycles natural: today’s San Fransisco is tomorrow’s Cleveland? Discuss.)

I pulled out their 1977 cut Breakin’ It, because puns in classic rock are criminally underused. A track entitled “Be My Woman (Be My Friend)” caught my eye because I am one large weak spot for such sentiments, especially when pronounced by shirtless long-haired dudes. It spun through the airwaves to all both of my listeners who were no doubt FLOORED by such a magical, Romantic and pure iteration of love, partnership and a truly modern&progressive imagining of that whole matrix. “It’s the 20th century! Neither one of us necessarily has to till the fields while the other one makes porridge with the kids! Let’s be friends!” with horns and stuff (Before we say we’re in love/ we both already know).  I might have to ditch the Eagles in favor of these guys at my commitment ceremony after-rager.  Not a peep from the band exists on teh youtube but you can listen here.

Every student of pop music will get bludgeoned in the cranium with decades of boring love songs that are about a) being in love with someone and it’s going to like, last forever or b) being in unrequited love that makes the singer want to supposedly kill themselves. I say go for it, I’m bored out of my skull. This is perhaps why Law’s track somehow seems novel even thirty-five years after its release, and why another, newer jam really worked its way into my hardened ears last spring (or around there, who can keep track of real time anymore; we have the internet):

“I don’t wanna own him or control him/ I just want our souls to be aligned.” Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Plus homegirl is a serious super babe. Respect. Friends released their full-length debut Manifest! in June, and the flip-side of the aforementioned transcendent union is the album’s other standout, “Home”. There’s no video, but can you listen here.

Peace, love and Death 2 FM lite*

 

 

*excluding the Eagles who I don’t even care, desert/peyote/leather vests, are fabulous.

 

 

 

packing party dresses.

let’s watch this 190 times today, ok?

I’m moving again in a few weeks, mostly because the shape of the American Midwest doesn’t quite match up with the shape of my infinite nature// I need to be making out with WAAAAY more babes. Henry Miller’s like “Our destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things,” and I’m like, totally, man. What Would William Least Heat Moon do? He’s like ” To be only a nub in the eternal temporary [BWOAH] is to have a chance to see, a chance to pry at the mystery. What is the blue road anyway but an opportunity to poke at the unseen and a hoping the unseen will poke back?”

I’ve met so many beautiful people here but the city puts a cop in the street to direct traffic when the mega church gets out on Sunday and my heart is never not going to sort of get caught in my throat at that, and my lizard-brain just lurches at this incongruence of its primal truths slamming up against its surroundings.  But mostly, lack of babes. So. See ya bros, I’ll be putting my “psyche of a dead French existentialist and tits of a pregnant German supermodel” (NYT Arts Beat, April 4, 2021) to use elsewhere. ❤

Cheers Liveblog: Spoiler Alert!

Yall.  I don’t know if you’re aware that Cheers, 1982-993, is available in its entirety on Netflix. It has sufficiently replaced my social life, and ironically, I’ve pretty much stopped drinking thanks to Norm, who is kind an XL slob because of his unrivaled affinity for the mysterious light brew that flows from Cheers’ taps like wine.  Here, an EXCLUSIVE synopsis of season two, episode 7: “Old Flames”. So sit back, pour some Pinot and Poland Spring Sparkling, and start admiring the immaculate fluff of Ted Danson’s mane. THIS IS FUCKING CHEERS.

Ok so backstory: Sam and Diane are dating and also pour and serve beers at a Boston bar. SPOILER ALERT : They eventually break up! And then Kirstie Alley somehow gets a job at the bar? But will it be today?! In this installment, originally airing in 1983, Sam’s old friend Dave wants his womanizing bestie back to troll for trollops, and vows to break up Sam and Diane. Let’s begin!

The theme song! Making your way in the world today really DOES take everything you’ve got! Also kind of feel like this show is hilariously 80s in it’s lack of diversity. You “wanna be where people are all the same”? The crowd at Cheers might as well be a Mitt Romney rally. At least Ted Danson seems to have a perpetual tan. UM ALSO, are they promoting alcoholism via “taking a break from all your worries”?

Carla seems to not accept Sam and Diane’s relationship. Is she IN LOVE WITH SAM? OR DIANE?!

Diane was a student when the show started. How is she paying on her loans and buying new silk blouses while working at a bar? Is she teaching her way through grad school? Also love how Diane made TV/America a safe space for snobby, loud mouth broads who get off on believing they’re smarter than everyone else but just want to get railed by a babe who’s intellectually inferior. In an episode in season one,  she’s protesting a sexist barmaid pageant and declares that she’d like to be “the voice of her generation.” I was like I’VE SEEN THE ENEMY AND SHE IS ME. JK JK LUH YU GRL

SAMS BEST FRIEND, Dave the sportscaster, IS TRYING TO BREAK UP SAM AND DIANE!

LOL Sam is feigning amnesia about like banging other chicks to win Diane back. That’s romantic. Yesterday some dude texted me a photo of weed. #ROMANCE.

Ok, also, Cliff and Norm are sort of pathetic.

So Sam and Diane are fighting over Sam’s “little black book” and Sam calls the art that Diane likes “paint splatters.” LOL these guys are s00 incompatible, I don’t think they’ll last. Also kind of weird to think of a time when your boyfriend wasn’t texting a bunch of dumb sloos behind your back and had to call them from a rotary phone instead.

Diane just said “I hate you with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.” Filed away.

OH GOD SAM JUST LEFT THE BAR WITH A PROSTITUTE MASQUERADING AS A STEWARDESS FROM CHICAGO.

Now Diane is like “I want to apologize to Sam!” THE IRONY

Oh god Sam told Diane that he took that chick home. Bad move bro.

Ok they kiss and make up, and then somehow they pick up a couple golf clubs, ostensibly with the intent to beat each other with them. End scene. Like I said: ROMANCE.

Netflix says the next episode is about Coach becoming a “tyrant” when he starts managing a little league team. I just realized that this show is kind of about nothing, but in an overall less successful way than Seinfeld. ARE YOU GETTING THIS, NYT ARTS AND LEISURE?