one time I was at a show, and it was a lot of years after I started thinking that was a meaningful act or phrase or endeavor at all, years even after you look at your reflection in the morning and you look tired and older. and it was in a place so far from that time, and the name of the band recalled the natural world, which everyone stopped caring about a million internet years ago, and I owed the rest of my life in US dollars because I studied caring about it, and everyone at this show was young and simple and no one hated anything because they didn’t know anything and I’d left so many homes and saw people hawking their humanity on the other side of the world. Looking back, I see their hearts on the sidewalk, red wet & beating.

We played rummy on the buses there, on that side of the world, with the curtains closed, because gambling is against the law. In London a lifetime earlier we sat in the rain waiting for the bus and ______ and _______ and then ______ and In Belize there were waterfalls and ______ and _____ and I couldn’t quite keep it all straight anymore. There were strangers and eyelashes and afternoon sun. Everything that’s ever happened is October, young and ending at the same time. But in Edinburgh, getting out of the train, the sky was a cool white diamond in November and I won’t forget that.


let’s just try to imagine.

Also, human beings who identify as “Americans” and also “Republicans” think rape is an act of “god” (those same people like to think of browner humans on the other side of the world as “barbarians”). I’m not tagging this post as “girl life” because that would be to marginalize a human issue. Let’s try a thought experiment: imagine that the most important thing you own was taken by someone who knew they could because they believed that their humanity was more valuable than yours. Now let’s vote.

Pop Music and Power and Women and America// Quaaludes + Cages + 2001

Let’s drink some Brooklyn Lager and watch some videos.


QUESTION 1:  Did the framers of the Constitution imagine a republic in which adolescent girls were  free to fantasize about abusive boyfriends and getting fucked on Quaaludes? My non-existent retirement fund says that “hopeless place” is more often than not sixth-period geometry.

Also strange: that Irving Welsh’s little known 1996 debut novel that was adapted into a little known film called Trainspotting (that certainly wasn’t misguidedly adopted by young white American hedonists at all as justification of blowing their trust funds on E and std tests)  is referenced by the biggest popstar in the known universe as a desperate bid for “edgy”/”relevant.”

Meditate on that for a moment and gchat me. EMILYSHORTSHORTS


Watch the segment of Nicki in the cage again (try to forget everything that’s beneath contempt about the song, which includes everything about it, actually, and is a topic for another time). Conventional wisdom: women + cage [divided by] progressive feminist/ sentient human alive in 2012= this table’s getting flipped. However. Nicki is not your Romney-voting great-uncle’s cage dancer.

Minaj takes our collective cultural lexicon revolving around  “woman as object” and rewrites the thesaurus. Intentionally assuming the role of caged female + therefore valuable commodity, she takes that table we almost flipped earlier and somehow turns it:  she’s in charge. She knows how to make you want her, this is how you want her, and now she has your attention and will tell you exactly what she wants to. She has the power. And that rug you were just standing on. In her teeth.


Dug this one up from before the internet was invented and we used to listen to the literal radio, the top forty radio, when we were fifteen fifty years ago and quoted Jennifer Lopez in our AIM profiles (my life I live it to the limit and I love it, now I can breathe again, baby now I can breathe again). City High’s “What Would You Do” stuck out as an awkward, dull antidote to songs about crushes, love, and being real (all amounting to uh, LET’S GET WEIRD AFTER SIXTH PERIOD GEOMETRY, but only if you bring me ice cream, obs), a to0-hooky explanation of something that we like to call (or ignore as) “American Life [comma] A VERY ACTUAL PORTION OF.”  But, since we were fifteen, we were like, AM I FAT>?!>!>!

HOWEVER.  Not sure if it’s the decade+ that’s elapsed and the fact that I’m always sad about the bulldozer of the human experience that is hypercapitalism and the commodification of said experience due to said bulldozer, or the fact that I happen to be PMSing my head off (yes we’re over it & nice/hot/literate dude please bring me some fucking ice cream and a back massage and a bedtime story thank you) but I SOBBED (not like the normal ONE tear that happens during a movie preview about endangered whales saving a blind kid or  some shit, but the kind that actually infringes your ability to verbally communicate without collapsing into that Claire Danes circa 1994 crumple-face) at the imagery/thought of A CHILD CRYING BECAUSE HE’S HUNGRY AND HIS MOTHER IS STRIPPING TO PROVIDE FOR HIM BECAUSE HIS DAD IS [& i quote] SMOKING ROCK. Also HAHJAHAHA@ those dudes blaming the mother for stripping/prostituting (and the only way to feed him/ Is to sleep with a man/ For a little bit of money and his daddy’s gone/ Somewhere smokin’ rock now) rather than THE DAD WHO’S SMOKING ROCK WHILE HIS CHILD IS GOING HUNGRY AND THE MOTHER IS FUCKING STRANGERS FOR US DOLLARS. Where’s that song, City High? UGH get me that table again because now I need something to flip.

JESSICA CHRIST* I wish I knew in 2001 what I knew now because I would have just lit everything on fire.  Too bad I was straightening my hair and trying to garner the attention of White American Date Rapists (and failing, because I had braces and standards, thank you goddess). #prepschool

EXTRA CREDIT: Compare and contrast City High’s stripping single mother to Nicki Minaj’s intentionally caged cheetah/self. How has the image of the American female as sex object evolved in the context of Bush’s America to Obama’s? In Romney’s conception as 47% of the American public as self-styled victim, where does Nicki fall? Is Nicki’s win a success or loss? Where is City High now? Should we all dye our hair pink? Or just get wigs?

Peace, Love and Decoding Media. ❤ <3<3

*HAHAHA why do we not say that? HILARIOUS


Meredith and I chatted about psychoanalytic theory, Snoop and the sexual politics of  Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep so read it before we’re offered a 3.5 million dollar book deal.  Maybe we’ll mention you in the acknowledgements.

everyone should have some semblance of a notion of what that feels like.

Photo by steely_emily

It kind of feels like leaving//  rolling thru even the Cuyahoga Valley in October when all the leaves are wet and red with the volume turned all the way up and the windows rolled a little down kind of feels like you’re as big as the world and you were just born and you’ll never die and you can feel the infinity coursing thru yr veins and tired cliches like “freedom” and even “america” are resurrected because now you know they’re true. And even pulling off for gas feels like a poem and the country is yours, the universe really, because nothing that’s ever happened before matters unless you want it to and the future belongs to you + the knife you’ll use to carve what you want out of it.  We love times + places like people; we need a break but we’re a little heartbroken. The breath of the season sighs everywhere quite the same & can you hear it?



In Which Ric Ocasek Actually Is Jesus

Welcome back to your number one source of breaking Cars news on the internet. Since it’s October now we have to listen to a song that starts out “Summer/ its turns me upside down.” Doesn’t it though.

Wonder what it would have been like to live in world that didn’t have irony or convincing CGI yet, and where pop stars actually had musical sensibilities, rather than hair extensions and mandated rice-cracker diets. Like a 45-year-old white guy with a quote-of-the-day calendar and an infinite supply of Xanax didn’t write “Party In The USA” (which I once heard at a wild-west-themed bar in the south of Thailand, and felt really weird about it, but that’s a whole nother story entirely).